Boots on the ground at Coachella

The girl next to you is doing cocaine and has 20 million followers

I really wanted to go to Coachella this year, but I couldn’t make it. I had business to take care of. But lucky for me, where there’s a will there’s a girl.

I was introduced to Ash by the photographer Lizzie Klein, who said she might be up for documenting her weekend at the festival. So I asked Ash to write a little diary and fill out a Coachella questionnaire for me at the end of each day. And take some pics — she told me she was with her friends whose band was playing (Julie) and she looked, from Instagram, like the kind of girl who has interesting clothes. I wanted to know what she was wearing but also what she was eating, the best and worst outfits she saw, what the influencers were up to and everything about the vibe in the air.

So, live from the desert, here’s one girl’s 100% uncut weekend at Coachella (including: locking in with Tara Yummy, being ignored by James Charles, pale grunge, micro mini, boho SHEIN belt, Diet Coke/vodka soda).

Name: Ash

Age: 24

Occupation: I signed an NDA

Hometown/where you live now: Long Beach CA/ Los Angeles, CA

Where you’re staying: air bnb 20 minutes away

Is this your first Coachella? No

Why you’re here: friends playing (:

Who/what you’re most excited to see: julie, Gaga,

How you got to Coachella (car… bus…): 12 person sprinter van

Day 1, Friday

There is always something a bit jarring being at Coachella, seeing the rainbow tower and Ferris wheel. I remember the first year I went it was exactly how I imagined it to be, down to the layout. I hate music festivals with a passion, I can’t think of a situation I am less primed for. But there is a reason it is the biggest festival in the world; golden voice [the company that puts on Coachella] has their shit figured out. The sound systems are incredible, there is a bar or somewhere to get a frozen lemonade within every 500 feet. It’s probably the most convenient festival there is.

1. Breakfast: black coffee/ cigarette/ apple/ cliff protein bar

2. Your outfit today: vintage CDG mesh poncho, Abercrombie low rise shorts (rolled down!!!), Los Angeles apparel big slouch socks, ray bans, brown Vince camuto boots

3. Hydration of choice: Diet Coke/ vodka soda

4. The vibe in the air: everyone is flippant. Perhaps not drunk yet….

5. Lunch: stolen commissary via my friends, pseudo Mediterranean bowl, lentils, quinoa, mango, cucumber, hummus, tomatoes, for dessert cookies and brownies :3

6. Your favorite set: Julie/ AG cook/ Lady Gaga

7. High point of the day: Ag Cook/ Julie set

8. Low point of the day: caffeine crash after AG cooks set, sitting at the catering tent slumped over while my friends repeated the same conversation about the steak eight times

9. Any outfit changes?: changed into my friends vintage M.A.S.H shirt. Got really bad allergies so I looked like I smoked weed (which I would never), got very weird looks from people at the VIP bar because of this

10. Most Coachella moment of the day: TikTok alt couple fighting in front of me, Jaden Hossler influencer guy behind me at the bar saying “I love Texas, but Cali is everything..”,

11. Best outfit you saw today: Man in perfectly tailored black pants and a sheer almost linen like t shirt.

12. Worst outfit you saw today: the amount of that SHEIN belt; you know the one. Chunky brown round pendants all connected. Only one girl I saw wore it very well.

13. Dinner: stolen commissary AGAIN, roasted potatoes, Brussels sprouts, lemon bar/brownie. Friends had steak/ this beautiful fish. Looked like halibut?

14. Any interesting VIP sightings? Tara yummy (lol), Jake webber & Johnny (lol), AG right next to us, Victoria justice ???, James Charles (who ignored me twice), array of alt tiktokers, chappel roan (very cute, very beautiful red hair, seemed like she was in an amazing mood)

15. Your mood: a little despondent at times, playful/ silly once the tired based delusion kicked in.

16. Excitement level/10: 8/10

Day 2, Saturday

It’s odd how easily adjusted you become by day two. Completely desensitized to the fact the girl next to you is doing cocaine and has 20 million followers, but her feed reads as “clean girl”. Shes smoking cigarettes, fighting with her boyfriend who is at Sonora stage. With Tara Yummy. Right. There is no other situation in which that girl and I would be in the same room and we are both aware of it. She’s actually probably not concerned with my existence at all.

1. Breakfast: almond flour pancakes, scrambled eggs, black coffee

2. Your outfit today: striped brandy Melville boatneck tee shirt, matching boy shorts; boots,

3. Hydration of choice: this made me realize I barely drank water all day. Shots of vodka out of the aluminum water bottle we snuck in

4. Hangover level/10: 3/10

5. The vibe in the air: bliss, carelessness

6. Lunch: carrots with hummus, walnuts, goats cheese

7. Your favorite set: 2hollis

8. High point of the day: me winding up on my friends shoulders at 2hollis, my friend randomly obtaining access to his flag and waving it around,

9. Low point of the day: raging migraine during Travis Scott

10. Any outfit changes? Not today

11. Most Coachella moment of the day: The cobra snake saying he wanted to clone my friend and I

12. Best outfit you saw today: Harrison’s Gucci (??) suit, a girl in a Courtney love kinder-whore baby doll dress

13. Worst outfit you saw today: Just the amount of ironic shirts “I ❤️ free drinks” “milf in training” yuck

14. Dinner: sweet potato hash wrap thingy from alfalfa,

15. Any interesting VIP sightings? Tara Yummy was locked in with us, faze clan (lol), justin Bieber, lorde, Madison beer, Victoria justice again, dylan minette, Travis barkers kids, Julia fox,

16. Your mood: Elated

Day 3, Sunday

You’re aware it’s all kind a of a larp of what you saw on Kylie Jenner's Snapchat stories 8 years ago, but that’s part of the fun.

It’s easy to feel like you’re just playing some part. When the cobra snake is overhead as you drag a cigarette and pose. It feels compellingly gluttonous, even if you think you’re immune to the self indulgence Coachella inherently, and almost requires, you’re not. I’ve seen our greatest minds of our generation ask for a fit pic by the rainbow tower. 0.5, no, lower, wait actually use flash.

1. Breakfast: walnuts, goats cheese, black coffee,

2. Your outfit today: mesh cop copine dress, Salem hat, boots

3. Hydration of choice: vodka soda

1. Hangover level/10: 6/10

2. The vibe in the air: Everyone is kind of passive aggressive

3. Lunch: scrambled eggs

4. Your favorite set: snow strippers I guess, because it’s the only set we saw

5. High point of the day: meeting James Charles.

9. Low point of the day: waking up hungover

10. Any outfit changes? No!

11. Most Coachella moment of the day: meeting James and then immediately getting told by the bartender that we need to calm down

12. Best outfit you saw today: Tati from snow strippers, mini skirt, uggs, short sleeved hoodie

13. Worst outfit you saw today: I can’t get past the ironic graphic tees. I’m sorry

14. Any interesting VIP sightings? Actually none today besides influencers

15. Dinner: Potatoes with bleu cheese???? Diet coke

16. Your mood: delusionally happy

17. The style at Coachella in 1-3 words: Pale grunge, micro mini, chunky

18. Your Coachella weekend in 1-3 words: lit. Crazy. Movie (jk!!) Wholesome, side bang, indie

19. Are you going back next year? Yes! Next weekend :p

This was the first installment in the American Style Coachella diaries. Next up is a food diary with tips on how to eat high-vibrationally at a music festival (corndogs, tequila and coconut water) and a trend report from more anthropologygirls with boots on the ground (OnlyFans cowgirls, Luigi-core).

I am committed to giving you a comprehensive view on the state of music, influence and bohemian life via my band of merry reporters, who’ve been live-texting me updates from the desert.

It’s all too good to not share, but let me know if you’d prefer one big report or shorter diaries like this.

PLUR!